The Myth Of “Just Be Yourself”

Remember when you went on your first job interview, and a well meaning someone told you to just “be yourself”? If you were one of those high self-esteem people/magical unicorns, this may have been encouraging. “Oh, that’s all I have to do, be my sweet, wonderful, accomplished self,” you responded, “Wow, thanks for the reminder,…

How to Have a Rich Husband

1. Get used to his absence. Even the British monarchs (who are independently wealthy) have myriad affairs of state- Prince William can’t just kick back and watch Netflix with you. If only you had picked that guy with nothing more than a skateboard to his name, he would have had plenty of free afternoon time…

Why Your Girlfriends Will Save You

As of one year and two months ago, I no longer take anti-depressants/anti-psychotics/mood stabilizers/whatever other shit they told me to take because I was too Emo. And as you may have noticed, I am often either thinking, talking or writing about sex. When I am not doing it. Or parenting. Separately. Because doing those two…

I Am A Horny Teenage Boy

I recently spoke to a man in his fifties who expressed relief that much of his sex drive had left him. He said that only once his libido eased off, did he realize he had gone through his entire adult life with a metaphorical hard-on, letting it govern all his decisions like a weather vane.…

40 Things I Learned About Sex At Forty

1. Sex gets SO much better even if you enjoyed it plenty as a dumb teenager. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? 2. Masturbation is a benevolent G-d’s greatest gift to humanity. How much more proof of intelligent design is there than the co-creation of genitals, hands and fingers? (Medical silicone sex toys are more proof…

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