The Hardest Drug

I was fifteen years old when I discovered it, the most incredible drug on earth. No one ever warned me against it, this was before the Internet mind you, but that probably would have gotten me hooked earlier. It was not man-made, G-d made it, or the Universe (or whatever is in fashion to call…

Men – Fucking Me Over Since 1989

It was September 3, 1989 and my first boyfriend had just put his (drunk) penis into my (inebriated) vagina. He had a condom on, but it didn’t protect my heart. The next morning, I expected to wake up in his arms, instead I wandered out to find him talking to another girl at the cast…

The Hardware Store For Milk

There’s a homily in one of the twelve-step programs I have attended over the years (which is almost all of them) that says, “Don’t go to the hardware store for milk.” It means that when we seek approval, validation or support from people who are unable to provide it, we are trying to get something…

My Ovaries Wrote This

I’m at my ObGyn’s office and there are pregnant ladies glowing all over the place. And this is Santa Monica so their pregnancies are perfectly accessorized. Also there are babies. Everywhere. And toddlers. And children. Like an exquisite torment for my probably-still-robust ovaries, they are all being disturbingly cute. I’m going to get pregnant just…

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